Fear of judgement & rejection and my own judgement & critics

I wonder who else recognizes the thing I am going to share. It is a personal story, one of doubt and fear of fully stepping into what I do and bring. I hope you enjoy it, find some truth, comfort and recognition.


I notice I struggle to share about my work when people (outside of the spiritual bubble) ask me what I do with my own business, and I feel ashamed to admit it, because I should be proud and proudly tell what I do with HeartSpace, right!?…

Yesterday I was asked (at my part time job in health care) the question what do you do besides this?

I skipped my own business, shared about other things I do, side things for other people. I do all kinds of things, that I am a divers person I said. When I was asked what I actually do with my own business I felt shy, the usual shrinking feeling and an awkwardness…. How do I tell this to ‘normal’ people? How do I not sound wooo woo or too spiritual, how do I explain what I do in ‘their’ language so they understand…

Every time I get this question I get this reaction within me., I struggle to answer, I become awkward. How it is that I cannot talk enthusiastically about my own work, share about what I love. How can I not feel comfortable sharing about something that I do with my heart?

Because it is scary, it is damn scary to share about what I do with heart. I am afraid of their judgements, I am afraid they won’t understand it. That is my fear, it’s not based on facts or truth. It is my own projection… It is my fear and I struggle with it..

But am I really afraid of what ‘they’ might think or am I just scared of my own power, my own greatness… Or still unsure of my own ‘medicine’...

You know what one of my colleagues said: I see you laughing when you tell us about it, the other time you did that as well, why do you laugh? You should be proud! So I had an open conversation with 2 colleagues, about the fear of being seen as too spiritual, floaty woo woo..

This is what they wrote me in a message after leaving: “Be proud of what you do Lies, I think it’s awesome!” and the other: “When you mentioned spirituality I was ‘on’ and excited, curious to see your website when you finish!”

I guess it is also a judgement from me to them, thinking they will not understand, thinking they are not open to it. A judgement that they will not understand if I use ‘my own words or language’ to explain what I do, that I have to adjust to their level of knowledge about the subject and I expect they understand nothing of it. I fill that in for them, and I don’t know! And they will never understand it if I do not share it...

I write to acknowledge this. Both the fear, the ‘inability’ and the judgement. Mostly for myself, to bring it out in the open. But also to share, because I know I am not the only one. It touches upon a bigger theme, the one of sharing who you are, standing for who you are and what you believe in. Sharing your truth and standing in your truth.

It is scary, it is vulnerable. Emotionally, culturally and historically it has not always been safe to speak up. We can logically think it is safe, we can practically know we will not be attacked for speaking up (depending on where you live off course because this is definitely not always a given and I am blessed to live here) but in our minds, our bodies it is perceived as unsafe.

My mind can be like: why don’t you just share your truth, why are you still so afraid, why are you not sure of yourself. My mind can be harsh. You even do and offer voice work, you are the worst voice ‘worker’ for not being able to speak up about your work to others…

Does that make me a fraud? Does that make me unfit to teach voice work?

I have decided it does not… Against all my inner critic voices I decided to create a deep dive into voice work, an online trajectory of 8 weeks.

Because it is SO needed, because I can and do have the knowledge and experience, and because I felt great enthusiasm and excitement to go in depth into this, not just voice work but all different layers that come with it. The physical, emotional, mental layers, the societal & historical. Working with the healing power of the voice, learning about the voice and the nervous system, overtone singing. Magic, power of words & vibrations...

All of it.

And for that reason I invite myself and all of you, to be a little bit more true, to be a little bit more open every time you recognize a situation you keep yourself small or you fear the consequence. Just a little bit, to gain trust, in yourself and in others. Because the more we do, the more we learn it is safe to be ourselves and share our light, fire and passion with the world.

So I will not let my self doubt and fear dictate my knowledge and power and keep me from sharing. I will continue to learn to speak my truth and trust it is received by those that need to hear it. We are not perfect. I am not perfect. It is a process, and I am curious to the future.

How is this for you? Do you recognize this and how do you invite yourself to step up a little bit more? Feel free to share with me!

Good luck & enjoy the process!